El Loco Libre

Restarting Life At 78

A Pilgrim's Journey

Updated April 13, 2021

Issues

Using the title "Issues" tends to frame everything in a somewhat antagonistic way, as if there were battles and fights ahead, with winners and losers, should either of us choose to see it that way.  Perhaps, as some suggest, our language helps inform our ideas, and by describing and looking at things differently a breakthrough of sorts can happen.   

We are quite different people, with widely divergent backgrounds and experiences, and both on our third marriage.   Angel has a degree in counseling in addition to her medical education, and I am an engineer with experience in significant corporate construction and development in Silicon Valley.   I served as a naval officer during the Vietnam War era, and she protested it as a medical student.   She has children who are prominent part of the arts community in Santa Fe, another an executive in the food service industry in Colorado, and most of my friends are engineers with one being a retired Navy submarine admiral and retired president of a shipbuilding company.  The astute reader may begin to see a potential source of differing views and perceptions.   

On the other hand, while Angel was going to college and raising children, I was experimenting with alternate therapies - some even legal - in the San Francisco and Berkeley areas after my naval service.  So our differing experiences presented some challenges, which we have overcome.  Mostly.   She is liberal and I am conservative.  It gets even better.

 

However, to our delight and surprise (this is from my point of view), and perhaps a bit to her astonishment, we began a deep and abiding relationship, accompanied perhaps by much relief and gratitude since neither of us fit the template that the other feared.  We have learned to accommodate one another's viewpoints and accept the differences.  We often joke about it, although sometimes we don't.

 

There is also much activity going on now in our house with some remodeling inside and out, with workers coming and going, almost if by magic, and seemingly all of a sudden.  Angel manages all of that.  She can be a tough boss, and the workers respect and listen to her.  She and I still challenge one another, but in an atmosphere of trust and gratitude.  The day is sunnier, warmer, more gentle, the animals are more peaceful, and the workers seem happy.  Most of the time.