El Loco Libre
Restarting Life At 78
A Pilgrim's Journey
Updated July 6, 2021
It will assist anyone reading this to have a very short background of Angel and me, just a few details that may help understand where we are now and some of how we got here. I promise to be mercifully brief.
We met in Bend, Oregon over ten years ago with each of us having come from two prior marriages, in different locations, different circumstances, with quite different backgrounds. We were both tired of the "dating" scene with folks like us who had some significant experience (a euphemism for saying we were both in our sixties), and just started chatting at a gathering at the primary watering hike in a somewhat rural yet civilized town in the Northwest one evening. Neither of us was "looking" and just wanted to be sociable. Most of the denizens were mature adults (a euphemism for "old folks" depending on the age of the viewer). Chatting was easy, we each felt comfortable with each other, and it was a good although short evening.
I invited her for a hike the next day (first time for a first date for me), and we became friends. She was quirky, I was weird, and she had a very significant managerial position in a local medical organization, which impressed me. She is a nurse and medical professional, I a civil engineer and Silicon Valley construction and development executive. The hike went well, we chatted, and I took her home. We had our first fight on that first date (I lost), and we both have continued to be open since then.
As we got to know one another, we became intrigued (this is all from my point of view, of course), and eventually she moved in with me in my house.. Our relationship - I think - lasted for maybe eight or so years there and - to make a long story short - she suggested we move to Santa Fe where she had grown children, and had come upon just the right house on a remote part of the prairie south of there on a previous trip.
Within a short period of time we were married in our backyard where we met and moved to Santa Fe and began renovating the house (truthfully, is was all Angel's vision) and she did an excellent job of getting it done while I "helped" mostly by staying out of the way and agreeing with her vision. This has continued to this day. This was a totally new experience for me, and continues to be not only challenging, but requires me to put away many of my old patterns in relationships so that ours can continue to grow on a daily basis.
And so with our divergent backgrounds and viewpoints, we now find we have more trust with and acceptance of each other, which means we are open to improving the relationship as we move forward together. We know we have the usual hurdles to overcome, the disagreements to work out, and challenges to meet and overcome, but is certainly is easier together with trust that it will work out.